Not all cultures have the same challenges with being candid.
Kim Scott’s Radical Candor book addresses “caring deeply and challenging directly”.
Candor requires courage in the moment – believing it’s worth it to say what needs to be said.
Reframing and getting curious about behavior helps us get at the “thing behind the thing” in a more authentic way.
Candor is not shooting from the hip – it requires preparation.
Some techniques can help us have a candid conversation like using I vs You language.
Our candor role models are very interested in what we are thinking but might not be saying and are willing to probe on it when he/she is attuned to the non-verbals.
Effective candor requires a person to be good with neutrality and desire to see things another way.
It might require some time and space – perhaps postponing the conversation – until you can get to a curiosity mindset before having the conversation.
The highest level of listening is listening with the intent of having your mind changed – not trying to think through your rebuttal.
Amygdala hijacks can be avoided if you position yourself to avoid the emotional threat response.
The DDI STAR and STAR/AR models are great models for sharing specific information for positive and constructive feedback.