adult private conversation
Podcast

Episode 8: Candor

 

 

Show Notes:

  • Not all cultures have the same challenges with being candid.
  • Kim Scott’s Radical Candor book addresses “caring deeply and challenging directly”.
  • Candor requires courage in the moment – believing it’s worth it to say what needs to be said.
  • Reframing and getting curious about behavior helps us get at the “thing behind the thing” in a more authentic way.
  • Candor is not shooting from the hip – it requires preparation.
  • Some techniques can help us have a candid conversation like using I vs You language.
  • Our candor role models are very interested in what we are thinking but might not be saying and are willing to probe on it when he/she is attuned to the non-verbals.
  • Effective candor requires a person to be good with neutrality and desire to see things another way.
  • It might require some time and space – perhaps postponing the conversation – until you can get to a curiosity mindset before having the conversation.
  • The highest level of listening is listening with the intent of having your mind changed – not trying to think through your rebuttal.
  • Amygdala hijacks can be avoided if you position yourself to avoid the emotional threat response.
  • The DDI STAR and STAR/AR models are great models for sharing specific information for positive and constructive feedback.
  • Book recommendations:
Girls Trip 2017 - Sarasota, Florida!
Podcast

Episode 7: Girls Trips

Show Notes:

1. What are positive benefits of Girls Trips?
2.  Why do we feel guilty about taking Girls Trips? What are other obstacles?
  • Mom guilt is hard to overcome but it is worth it for the whole family for Mom to get a quick recharge
  • Money and time are other challenges
  • Prioritizing self vs family or home expenses and spending money on self vs family//home
3. How to overcome obstacles?
  • Start small – consider a driving trip that is only a few hours from home and not as costly
  • Divide and conquer on the tasks
  • Make a goal to get away and budget ahead for the trip
  • Decide how you want to split costs and track spending
4. How are Girls Trips different than other trips?
  • Sometimes I don’t do much planning at all…it’s so rare to just “show up” as many people share the burden of planning.
  • Less stress only worrying only about myself (and cheaper than taking the whole family!!)
5. Girls Trip Favorites:
Best trips for large groups?
  • Rebecca – somewhere near home so more people can afford to go
  • Michelle – a retreat hotel with a lot of variety in options
  • Sandy – consider vacation home rental with a lot of bedrooms and common shared space

Budget-friendly?

  • Rebecca – Vegas (#sorrynotsorry) – recommend Priceline for good hotel deals
  • Michelle – Driving trips with nearby free festivals or museums
  • Sandy – Visit friends and take advantage of some nights with no hotel; Pagosa Springs was a recent favorite near a friend’s house in Colorado Springs

Most relaxing?

  • Rebecca – Napa
  • Michelle – Any beach
  • Sandy – Lake Austin near Austin, TX

Best city?

Quick and impactful?

  • Rebecca – French Lick, Indiana & Downtown Indy (where we get to mention riding elephants again…oh, and a biofreeze massage)
  • Michelle – Sarasota & Epcot Food and Wine Festival (Orlando)
  • Sandy – short cruise from Florida to Bahamas

Spiritual rejuvenation?

  • Rebecca – Memphis – Graceland but more seriously the Civil Rights Museum
  • Michelle – Trips to a faith-based conference with sightseeing on the side
  • Sandy- Lake Austin
All time favorite?
  • Rebecca – Maui
  • Michelle – Maui; Lake Austin gets honorable mention
  • Sandy- French Polynesia island cruise including Bora Bora

Next up?

  • Rebecca – Lisbon, Portugal & the Canary Islands
  • Michelle – Palm Beach, Florida
  • Sandy – Asheville, North Carolina
6. Parting advice on taking a fabulous girls trip?
  • Save a date and book well in advance; unless you pay upfront for a hotel, you can usually cancel very close to your travel dates without penalty
  • Create a schedule of events with variety; make plans that suit nearly everyone’s needs and then just go with the flow – not everyone may want to do everything and that’s ok
  • Agree on a budget and secure some of the costs so you have real commitment
  • Don’t sweat the details – you’ll have a blast even if some small things go wrong

 

 

Girl reading book by lake
Podcast

Episode 6: Self-Development

 

 

Show Notes:

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
  • More downtime is great like personal retreats, mindfulness, prayer, yoga and relaxing vacations
  • Gratitude journaling is a good method for reflecting on your blessings
  • Volunteer leadership opportunities can be very rewarding and are within everyone’s reach
  • 70-20-10 model of development
70/20/10 model of development
70/20/10 model of development
  • More frequent breaks help improve productivity, mindfulness and give you a chance to reflect
  • Accountability partners and coaches help keep you focused and give feedback on your progress
  • Book: Insight by Tasha Eurich
  • Ask for feedback by writing “What is something that might be getting in the way of me [fill in the blank with your development goal]?” on the front of a notecard.  Have your peer group respond with anonymous feedback on the back of that notecard. This feedback will be a major gift for your development.
  • Don’t try to climb the mountain to the top of your goal too quickly or you may find it overwhelming. Take baby steps and start the journey!
  • Book: FYI: For Your Improvement by Korn Ferry – look for used copies to save money; older editions are still quite useful
  • Book: Before Happiness by Shawn Achor
  • Book: Boundaries series by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
  • Brene Brown has created some wonderful resources in a variety of media formats including
MicroBlog

Tip 50: Borrow travel books

I admit I am mostly a consumer of digital content these days and mostly rely on podcasts and Google searches to learn about areas I am traveling to. Still there is a huge benefit to travel books and maps..I love maps! So while we have previously suggested ebooks and related apps, this tip is all about the good old fashion page turner.

Have you considered borrowing travel books rather than buying them? Honestly I hadn’t as I regularly buy the cheapest, newest used book I can find on Amazon, but recently my son wanted to spend a rainy afternoon wondering around the library…and I wasn’t about to discourage that. I was surprised at how many travel books, magazines and videos were available for loan at our local library. We’ll definitely be back soon!

Now off to study up for our upcoming Cuba trip!

Change commitment
Podcast

Episode 5: Living through Change

 

Change cartoon
No takers on leading change?

CEB Research – https://www.cebglobal.com/insights/change-management.html

What tools or models do you think are most helpful to people leading change?

When you see someone who just has a knack for championing change, what characteristic/trait sticks out to you? (What makes them great?)

  • Flexibility
  • Curiosity
  • Passion
  • Authenticity
  • Aware of stakeholders

What are often overlooked execution strategies leaders miss as they get wrapped up on “doing the change”?

  • Celebrating small wins
  • Anticipating resistance – more info on Pre-Mortems
  • Slow down to move fast – aligning on the front end
  • Knowing when it’s ok to direct change vs allow for more collective intelligence/wisdom of the crowd – Kerber and Buono research (this is a bit more academic but good stuff)

How can the leader solidify the change in the culture?

  • Provide opportunities for 2-way conversation with employees
  • Communicate, communicate, communicate
  • Reward the right behaviors
  • Modeling what you want to see in others
  • Select people who align with and advance the culture you are building
  • Know when to change talent on a project team to reinvigorate a change

What strategies do you use to personally cope with change?

  • Reminding myself that it’s usually not as bad as I assume it will be
  • Focus on gratitude even in the midst of pain
  • Not ignore our feelings
  • Giving up control
  • Being intentional about how you are spending your social time and making sure you are not isolating yourself

How do you help those who struggle with resistance to change?

  • Demonstrating empathy
  • Not passing judgment when someone is struggling
  • Provide personal examples
  • Change style indicator – brochure
  • William Bridges’ transitions model

What change books and resources have been helpful?

It seems like all industries, fields, even hobbies are changing a lot based on digital and other trends. How do you stay on top – or in front, when possible – of these changes?

  • Think of other ways to do things you do today especially ways to use digital tools differently
  • Twitter and LinkedIn helps connect global thought leaders
  • Conferences or Professional development sessions and organizations

 

BONUS!

Girls’ Trip Elephant Adventure pictures – Sandy on an elephant at the Indianapolis Zoo

img_7727

Movies on a tablet
MicroBlog

Tip 7: Free Audiobooks and more for travel

Did you know you can rent & download audio books for free if you have a library card? Zinio (RBDigital) for magazinesOverdrive (Libby) for books, and Hoopla (music/audio books/TV) are all great options. We like to listen to books when traveling by plane, train and car.