Episode 8: Candor

Show Notes:

• Not all cultures have the same challenges with being candid.
• Kim Scott’s Radical Candor book addresses “caring deeply and challenging directly”.
• Candor requires courage in the moment – believing it’s worth it to say what needs to be said.
• Reframing and getting curious about behavior helps us get at the “thing behind the thing” in a more authentic way.
• Candor is not shooting from the hip – it requires preparation.
• Some techniques can help us have a candid conversation like using I vs You language.
• Our candor role models are very interested in what we are thinking but might not be saying and are willing to probe on it when he/she is attuned to the non-verbals.
• Effective candor requires a person to be good with neutrality and desire to see things another way.
• It might require some time and space – perhaps postponing the conversation – until you can get to a curiosity mindset before having the conversation.
• The highest level of listening is listening with the intent of having your mind changed – not trying to think through your rebuttal.
• Amygdala hijacks can be avoided if you position yourself to avoid the emotional threat response.
• The DDI STAR and STAR/AR models are great models for sharing specific information for positive and constructive feedback.
• Book recommendations:
  • Leadership and Self-Deception
  • Difficult Conversations
  • Crucial Conversations
  • Trusted Advisor by David Maister