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Not all cultures have the same challenges with being candid.
book addresses “caring deeply and challenging directly”. Radical Candor Candor requires courage in the moment – believing it’s worth it to say what needs to be said.
Reframing and getting curious about behavior helps us get at the “thing behind the thing” in a more authentic way.
Candor is not shooting from the hip – it requires preparation.
Some techniques can help us have a candid conversation like using I vs You language.
Our candor role models are very interested in what we are thinking but might not be saying and are willing to probe on it when he/she is attuned to the non-verbals.
Effective candor requires a person to be good with neutrality and desire to see things another way.
It might require some time and space – perhaps postponing the conversation – until you can get to a curiosity mindset before having the conversation.
The highest level of listening is listening with the intent of having your mind changed – not trying to think through your rebuttal.
Amygdala hijacks can be avoided if you position yourself to avoid the emotional threat response. The
DDI STAR and STAR/AR models are great models for sharing specific information for positive and constructive feedback. Book recommendations:
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
More downtime is great like personal retreats, mindfulness, prayer, yoga and relaxing vacations
Gratitude journaling is a good method for reflecting on your blessings Volunteer leadership opportunities can be very rewarding and are within everyone’s reach
70-20-10 model of development
70/20/10 model of development
More frequent breaks help improve productivity, mindfulness and give you a chance to reflect
Accountability partners and coaches help keep you focused and give feedback on your progress
Insight by Tasha Eurich Ask for feedback by writing “What is something that might be getting in the way of me [fill in the blank with your development goal]?” on the front of a notecard. Have your peer group respond with anonymous feedback on the back of that notecard. This feedback will be a major gift for your development.
Don’t try to climb the mountain to the top of your goal too quickly or you may find it overwhelming. Take baby steps and start the journey!
FYI: For Your Improvement by Korn Ferry – look for used copies to save money; older editions are still quite useful Book:
Before Happiness by Shawn Achor Book:
Boundaries series by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Brene Brown has created some wonderful resources in a variety of media formats including
What is Emotional Intelligence or EQ?
Why does it matter?
Components of Emotional Intelligence
Self Awareness – recognize moods, emotions and drives
Self-Regulation – control/re-direct disruptive impulses and moods; think before act
How to develop Self-Regulation: WAIT – Why Am I Talking?
Motivation – passion to work for reasons beyond money & status
How to develop Motivation: Reframing – finding the good in difficult situations/interaction
Empathy – understand emotional makeup of others; treating people according to emotional reactions
Social Skills – managing relationships and building networks; find & build rapport
Emotional Intelligence benefits of travel
Faith’s role in emotional intelligence